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O melhor de 2014 - podcasts: Colm Toibin

por titi, em 23.12.14

É bem capaz de ter sido a melhor entrevista que ouvi este ano. Verdades muito verdadeiras, histórias de desgosto e dor, várias gargalhadas. A-do-rei. Se não houver tempo nem paciência para ouvir tudo, sugiro o bocadinho entre os minutos 27 e 29.

Feliz Natal.

 

- Your father died when you were only 12. What did that mean for you at the time?

- I didn't know what it meant until a long time afterwards, when I had to go and do therapy and that was what came first. There was no word... I'm not even sure the word grief ... the word grief would have been in a prayer maybe, but it wouldn't have been in an ordinary sentence. So you just ... the funny way you get on with things ... you just simply ... there's a funeral, which is sort of unreal, in a certain way, and then you're all at home and an ordinary life goes on. And it is just though nothing had happened. There's a palpable absence but the absence cannot easily be mentioned or dealt with and so it's very hard to describe nothing. But what I'm talking about almost is nothing. It's very silent and many things become unmentionable. And then you learn to treat that as normal.

- You've said that a child who loses a parent never recovers. How do you feel the loss of your father now?

- That you never recover. That you're never sure the entire ... that anyone ... that you're never sure about love or ... you're never sure about anything again. You never trust anything again. (...) You never have the experience in the first place. You deny it, you postpone it, and therefore, you becoe someone who keeps things in. And that can come up again and again and again in you life, for someone can say to you ''why didn't you say it if you felt it?'' and you suddenly don't ... you say ''well, you just don't understand me''. (..) It's almost like (...) having half your face beaten off  by somebody but you keep trying to smile.

 

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